Learning to Dance in The Rain

 "Life Isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it is about Learning to Dance in the Rain" 

I first heard this saying years ago from a young woman who was one of my leukemic bone marrow transplant patients. She was in her late 20's and had so much life to live, but she was dying from her cancer. She had every reason to hide under the blanket and get depressed, but she did NOT. She kept fighting until the last day and she was so strong. Even with every relapse, she stayed positive. I sat with her holding an ice pack to her nose as she bled from no platelets . I advocated to give her platelets to give her a few minutes without bleeding so that she could see the two young children (her boyfriends children, whom she had learned to love and who loved her).  Even in those last few days , she was positive and living life. She and so many other brave patients that I have been privileged to know have thought me to live my life by not waiting for the storm to pass, but to keep dancing in the rain. 

This year has been trying for all of us as we continue to navigate the storm known as covid. In addition to the covid pandemic, I have to navigate another storm again.  I must deal with a scary change in health. My breast cancer has decided that my liver is a warm place to spread to. My biopsy last week confirmed that the lesion in my liver that was seen on scans and MRI is definitely a progression of my breast cancer.  It is one lesion and I am waiting for an appointment for a procedure called cryo-ablation , which basically freezes the lesion and kills it, but this also means that my current treatment is no longer working well enough. so I got my first two big shots to the "Ass" this week; a hormone blocker called Faslodex.  I have given these injections so many times to my patients.  I hate given it because its two big needles, one to each side,  and the medication is almost like pushing cement through a needle . My thumb is always sore after pushing that plunger; however, I now know how the patient on the other side of that plunger really feels. "Ouch", that was not fun at all. It really did hurt; and the fact that two nurses, one on each side get to see my bare Ass was a little disturbing. I will be a little more sympathetic the next time I have to give it.

 I will be receiving this treatment again  two more times this month as a loading dose, then once a month. Here's to second line treatment for metastatic breast cancer. I got 22 months from first line, so lets keep fingers crossed for at least another 22 months for second line treatment. The good news is that there are still  many lines of treatment that I know will be available in the future so that I can keep dancing in the the Rain. 

I will keep pushing forward, Living my very best life and I will continue to push past the Storm and Dance in the Rain. 

 Linda (Idalina)